raindrops on sunflowers

deep breath
long breath
realizing
i changed
in with the new friends
and out with the old
family parties?
no longer a favorite
make my parents proud?
ha!
cry is more like it
never want to come home
because,
memories,
are sharper than knives
and sting
more than a burn in lemon juice

dad
starts to talk
mom
suddenly shuts up
my life here is a mess
it causes me more stress
than all the textbooks
and roommates
and change
 and drama
that come with 
college
as rain falls
on this mistake
of my life

i look for the sunflowers
that thrive
instead of drown
because raindrops
on sunflowers
is a beautiful sight
as they roll off
the bright petals
and fall
to help it grow

i look at my new life
full of friends
fun
and maybe
a little love
full of people
who make me 
happy
and help me
dull my sharp memories
and teach me to smile

but still 
i wonder
is there a way
to mix the forget me nots
of my past
with the sunflowers
of my here and now
become one person
not someone then
and a different person here?
to make two fields
one?